Originally posted on December 21st, 2016 on Her Campus UCF.
The age old question anyone in a new relationship asks themselves before saying/doing anything remotely romantic is “Will they they this is cute or am I moving too fast and making things creepy?” Okay maybe it’s not an age old question and maybe it’s not worded like that exactly, but the idea is still there. How soon is too soon to say/do/act a certain way around your significant other?
Like a snowflake, each relationship is different from the one before or after it. What may have worked for your roommate might give the exact opposite reaction for your SO. So with that in mind, any relationship advice received must be taken with a grain of salt. Which leads us back to the confusing topic at point, how to show affection without weirding out your partner.
In any new relationship, it’s hard to get a grasp for how your partner handles different situations. The beginning stage is made for getting to know each other and always wearing your best smile, because you’re not ready to drop your baggage on their doorstep, expecting them to take it all in. The beginning is also made for cutesy flirting, and caring remarks showing that you appreciate being with this person. Obviously it’s hard to weigh out when this stage ends and a different level of affection begins. Some say that when the “L bomb” is dropped that a gate opens up allowing the relationship to flourish in new ways. Others say when intimate moments are shared physically is when it’s time to share intimate moments emotionally. But again, every relationship is different.
It’s hard to find the balance because you are so focused on making your significant other happy, as well as yourself. New relationships are full of surprises, and anything that could cause irritation or drama is immediately pushed away. Something magical is happening, therefore the two of you want to stay happily with each other as long as possible.
It’s hard to weigh this out in a long term relationship, let alone a fresh one, so it’s important to keep in mind a few things:
Don’t let how you acted in past relationships haunt you into acting a certain way now. This means that just because your independent ex from high school called you clingy, means that your new boyfriend feels the same way about your actions. Each person you date has different opinions on how they would like to be treated, so the best way to figure out how to act is to communicate.
There is no arbitrary timeline of how and when to act in a relationship. Just because Jenny and Bill did such and such two months in doesn’t mean you need to too. If you feel that something is moving too fast, or not fast enough, it’s up to you and your partner to reflect and talk about, not a decision based on outsiders.
Be yourself. If you want to send cute texts throughout the day and surprise them with random acts of kindness, do it. If you’re at the store and see something that reminds you of them, don’t be scared to send them a pic or even purchase it. Everyone loves being thought of, and if you’re holding back because you think that they will think you’re moving too fast, you both lose out. You never know what little thing you do could put a smile on their face. If it’s genuine from your heart, they will appreciate it. And if they don’t, it wasn’t meant to be.
New relationships are both exciting and scary because everything you learn about a person is a new surprise. Don’t let the fear of being clingy stop you from showing that you care. A small thought here or there can make someone’s mood change for an entire day and cause your relationship to flourish to new levels. If you ever feel that you might be taking things a step too far, too soon, ask your partner because they are the only ones who can give you the feedback you need to succeed. If you two truly care about each other, every moment will be one full of affection and happiness.